Friday, January 31, 2014

Sub Prompts: How did we meet?

Submissive Prompt is How did I meet the person I serve?

Sir Phryxus and I met sort of at a club sort of online. I'll explain.

Me at Dancing in the Dark Masquerade Nov. 2007
I was new in town, going to college, all virginal and shiny and newby. I talked some friends into going to a local goth night at a club called Rafters. They were having a Masquerade and I really wanted to check it out. So a group of guy friends and I went. As we were having our I.D.s checked and our hands stamped as too-young-to-imbibe a guy came out to check on the number of people they had and laughed about how here he was hosting this shindig and the only one without a mask...
Yep, that was Daddy. Sir Phryxus.

I saw him a few other times that night. I thought he was cute but always around girls so I assumed he had a girlfriend and didn't approach him. Besides, the guys I was with were like brothers and wouldn't leave me alone for one second.

Later, I was looking at the forum that the goth night had - Dancing in the Dark (which sadly no longer exists) and joined the message boards. It was new to me so when it asked for your name I used my real name and didn't think anything of it. I got a message not long after from a guy saying I had a really pretty name.
We got to chatting and decided to meet at the next goth night. I talked some girl friends into going this time, not feeling the need to have big brother watch over me.

As you might have guessed, the online guy was Sir Phryxus. I was happily surprised. We danced, kissed. He asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no. He said, "You want one?" Yea...he was smooth lol. So we've been together ever since.

<3 mimi="" p="" phryxus="">

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Kink of the Week: Flogging

Kink of the Week

 

So…have you been flogged, or flogged someone else? What do you think of it?
Is it an actual kink of yours – do you need it, want it, crave it? – or just something that you enjoy when it happens?
Is it used a a precursor to other kinds of play – a warm-up? Or is it an activity you enjoy in and of itself?
Are there certain types of floggers that you love (or love to hate?) A certain place to be flogged on your body, or a certain method that you like to flog someone?
What is it about flogging that “gets” you – or doesn’t?

Flogging is the way I popped my BDSM cherry. Sure I had been spanked and what not before but as far as what I felt to be actual D/s play or scening, flogging was it for me. This was with Sir Phryxus, and not long later with Mistress Fenreya at my first bondage club night.

I learned that I enjoy a steady, thumpy flogger with some weight to it. I enjoy being flogged on my upper back but really like to be flogged on my ass and thighs and in between.

When I am flogging, I tend to vary the impact between a variety of toys and floggers from a soft fuzzy flogger to a stingy paddle to a thumpy flogger to my hand and so on. This way I can spread the sensations out.

Flogging is one of mine and Sir's most participated fetishes and because of this we have more floggers than any other toys.

 Above is a flogger Sir Phryxus made one evening with strips of old leather he had laying in the shop.
ToolWorks Chicago Inc. floggers for Sir Phryxus and myself
My custom made Pink and Purple Loliflog

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Kink of the Week: Marks

 
The Kink of the Week

This week we are talking about marks – specifically the marks left on your body – or the body of one you have been playing with – after you have been playing.

how do you feel about getting or giving marks? Do you treasure them, or can you take or leave them? Are the marks you get (or give) part of your kink, and have some deeper meaning, or just an outcome of what you do?

Or perhaps marks are something to be avoided or hidden, or that cause embarrassment. Or maybe you just don’t like them.

Do you consider yourself a “marks fetishist”?  Do you desire them, negotiate for scenes that will cause them, or are maybe even feel disappointed if you don’t get (or give) them? Are getting or causing marks, or the sight of marks on your body or the body of the person you play with, arousing to you?

Are marks sexy? Are they a badge of honor? Do you poke at them, sigh over them, look at them in the mirror, maybe even take pictures of them?

What about those of you with multiple relationships or play partners? Does that affect whether you give or get marks, or how, when or where?

Marks, for me, are fun, but are by no means "the point" of our play nor am I a marks fetishist. I can take em or leave em when it comes to play. When a submissive asks me for marks, I am always cautious and make sure they are sure and on placement - do they have to go to work? what sort of clothes will they be wearing after this? will they be going to a tanning bed in the near future? etc.

As for marking me and being poly. Our rule is that my husband can mark me as territory - usually a bite or hickey on the neck or breasts. Only a few of my past partners have been able to to do the same due to my desires or his.

As for marking people in other ways
Sir Phryxus loves the look of rope marks and I find them appealing as well:

before anyone gets up in arms (haha punny)
those red marks are not blood blisters, they were there prior to tying

harder to see this one sadly
And then there are the kinds of marks left by toys like a cupping set


And then there are marks left by knives like those mentioned in a previous KOTW post on Knife Play

Marks can be a lot of fun and I recommend playing around with it as long as you're sure of placement and who do you want to be able to see them?

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Censorship Sucks

As many of you may know, Blogger has recently sent out a message to it's bloggers with adult content:

You are receiving this message because you are the admin of a blog hosted on Blogger which is identified to have Adult content.
Please be advised that on June 30th 2013, we will be updating our Content Policy to strictly prohibit the monetization of Adult content on Blogger. After June 30th 2013, we will be enforcing this policy and will remove blogs which are adult in nature and are displaying advertisements to adult websites.
If your adult blog currently has advertisements which are adult in nature, you should remove them as soon as possible as to avoid any potential Terms of Service violation and/or content removals.
Sincerely, 
The Blogger Team

In response, I have removed my ads to my affiliate programs...as you can see.
If I was in an affiliate program with you, I am sorry that your ad is removed, please send your aggravated remarks to Blogger/Google.

I know that I have options.
I could make House Phryxus a website, sadly the domain name House Phryxus .com is owned by my ex-girlfriend and I seriously doubt she'd give it back to me since we haven't spoken in over a month.
Also, that is a huge endeavor that is not free.

Another option is to move to a kink-friendly blog source that allows ads. Theses are few and far between and require a huge overhaul of the blog. I'm not saying the house blog isn't worth it but I currently do not have the time nor does any other member of House. If you want to volunteer your time for this, let me know, we will work something out in floggings.

My response to all of this, for now, is to simply take down the ads and keep writing. I hope you will keep reading. This does change my content in that I will no longer be doing free reviews for companies that require there be an ad for their company on my blog to send me a toy or book. I understand where they are coming from but can sadly not comply.  Other than that, there will be no other content changes.

Hope that this all works out in the end...

xoxo
Lady Phryxus

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Northern Exposure Pt. 4: Leather and Fisting Vaginas

Saturday of Northern Exposure, I had to miss the first two class segments because I had work but when I got off I was excited to rejoin the community for more fun. All work and no play makes Lady Phryxus a dull leather girl. 


The first class I went to was Leathergirl by Mare. I have spent the last few months learning more about the Leather lifestyle and community so this was a class I had been looking forward to. I wasn't sure where I fit in this community but Leathergirl seemed a good combination of little girl and Leather Woman that I was willing to give it a shot.

Mare explained that to be a girl of Leather, certain attributes like honesty, integrity, and service were required. She also explained that having a vagina was not a requirement - only being a girl in your heart.
Midori, a kink expert and woman I greatly admire, was in the class with us and asked a pertinent question, "If a girl skips through the woods alone, is she still a girl?" She also asked Mare to explain what a girl was as if Midori was an alien and didn't know the difference between a boy and a girl. I'm not sure any of us were prepare to answer that question and it left us all pondering, if a girl wasn't just a young woman with a vagina, and this included boys and men who identified as girls,

Another point Mare made in the class was in regards to the term girl of Leather or Leather girl. The G in girl is always lower case. This, in the BDSM community usually denotes submission and gives the suggestion that all Leathergirls are submissive. However, the groups of Leathergirls such as the Seattle girls of Leather do not have submission as part of the guidelines, only service. In the class, we all agreed that service does not mean submission.

I left the class with so many idea running in my head and questioning - am I a Leathergirl?

Fisting with Big Bad Jim

For those of you who keep up with my FetLife account, you might have seen the announcement not so long ago that Sir is now one knuckle away from rewarding me with my red hankie for fisting. We are sadly, still stuck on that knuckle and cannot seem to move past that.

Jim's class was not only about the basics of Fisting but also to drive home the fact that it's not all about the fist! If you can only fit three fingers, great! If you can go up to your elbow...wow...but yea, great! Women are all different and not all women can take a whole fist. So long as everyone is having fun, she is filled, and there are orgasms going on, then Jim would say it was a successful fisting.

I was able to get a few questions answered - such as if the bottom part of the opening, the cartilage part, is supposed to stretch, but mine hurts - like pinching - what does that mean? I was told that this pinching feeling could be the cartilage stretching and to just go as far as I can, until I feel pain then hold back and try and work around it...and, as always, use more lube!


Northern Exposure Pt. 3: Beating Lil Bois in the Dungeon

The dungeon parties at Northern Exposure were part of the NE experience that I was looking forward to the most.

I had heard that it was the best dungeon of the year! That the equipment, scenes, and toys used were the very best and that nothing in Alaska could compare...I heard right ^_^

I arrived early because Sir had to deliver sound equipment. Watching a dungeon go up is always interesting to me as the construction tends to never looks like the results. It doesn't matter how simple a St. Andrews Cross or a leather spanking bench look in the glare of fluorescent lighting...in the darkness of the dungeon lights, they are fearful furnishings.

The first scare was a legitimate one - there was no music available. Something had happened to the thumb drives that had the dungeon music on them that corrupted the files and caused horrible high pitched noises to emanate from the speakers. I gave Sir and Wolfy a call "bring your cds."
Just goes to show even big events can have the same issues that smaller events have - Sir and I have come across this issue and similar ones before when having events in TN.
Between our cd collection and RubberDog's iPod, the minor music issue was resolved and On With The Show!

The dungeon was separated off into three spaces - a large dungeon area with crosses, benches, horses, wax and needle play, a curtained off stage area for photography, and a smaller alcove that was dubbed the 'sex room.' A smaller, well lit area for a lounge where auction items were displayed along with food and water. Another, medium size room that held suspension frames and a table for electrical play. On the whole, we had a lil bit of everything.

I began my night with big ideas - I was going to give everything a shot and top 3 friends and bottom to Sir by the end of the night...even though I had to work the next morning, even though I had to leave early, even though I was already super tired from running around all day...yea, it didn't happy like that at all, ha.

I was honored to top Wolfy and her friend questboi. Questboi and I know each other mostly as acquaintances who had talked a few times prior. When she asked if I would do a spanking scene with her before she left, I was happy to oblige. Aunty Flanna provided me with a leather slapper and we positioned ourselves at the nearest spanking bench.

I gave her a swift spanking followed by making her count five harsh whacks. Since this was her first time, I figured I'd go light.

This was followed by a scene with Wolfy that I had been looking forward to all evening.
I chained her to a St. Andrews Cross, and proceeded to flog her, only stopping to bite and caress. I can't go into detail or I might ruin something perfect. However, I was complemented by Aunty Flanna, a domme who I respect, who said it was one of the most sensual scenes she had ever seen.

It was an amazing evening. Sadly, I had to leave relatively early as I had work the next morning.